When Your Worst Enemy Is You

Looking at the world around you, it’s easy to get discouraged when things fail to work out the way that you have planned. When you are still in the same place after years of hoping,

wishing, and praying for a break through, one can feel defeated. When you get to this point, it’s time to take a closer look at yourself.

The odds may be against you ever getting a promotions, owning your own business, going back to school, buying a house or a new car. It may seem impossible that you would ever find the perfect mate for you and start a family. It may look like the money will never be right for you to take that vacation you have always wanted to take. Whatever the desire, some things  will only come to pass as you look inward.

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Tired

A walk through a day can be as exhausting as a daily workout routine. Not because of the physical activity or limitations, but as a direct result of life’s circumstances that weigh you down. The ongoing challenges that you must face and the impending disappointments that pass your way, entangle you in a bout of foolishness that you would rather avoid. One thing after another, tugging and pulling at you leaves you exasperated, frustrated, and

….tired.

You have used every ounce of strength that you have inside of you just to get through each day. The hope you once had that the cycle would end, just preceded yet another whirlwind of events seemingly spiraling out of control. The struggle becomes more than you can imagine. Medication, mantras, and affirmations became a necessity. Searching the Internet on how to deal with your circumstance, visiting the self help isle of the bookstore, and seeking support from your best friend become your routine. The moment you rise up and find the courage to smile, the ball comes crashing down and once again, you find yourself

….tired.

You have to get your drive back. The drive to simply exist must be your first priority, then the healing can begin. Rise up against your own insecurities and judgments about yourself. Resist the urge to give in to the circumstances that threaten your survival. Wake up and call on the One who created you and meditate on His Word and purpose for your life. Take a deep breath and breathe in the peacefulness that comes with knowing you will be okay and that this too, as they say, will pass.

Walk In It

A model has a signature walk. Either one or both hands positioned just above her waist line or arms swinging opposite her steps, back straight and shoulders back.  Her eyes fixed on a target straight ahead, placing one foot in front of the other, while at the same time displaying an heir of remarkable confidence. Walking a smooth, straight line down the runway, only to get to the end, pose for a photo, pivot and glide back to her starting point. All this, without as much as a flinch.

What lies beneath the model’s exterior; nervousness, insecurities, anxieties? Grace and elegance shield the uncanny thought that a lack of confidence even exists beyond what we see on stage. Certainly fear has arisen at some point in time during her career. Maybe even the remnant of self-esteem issues, or possibly a lack of confidence in her performance.

Could it be possible that she is unsure of herself, taking on the runway in front a crowd of hundreds, thousands even? Had she experienced days when she just did not want to do it? Had she ever thought of herself as less than, not as experienced nor as valuable as the next model? Maybe so, but when she walked the runway, could you tell?

In order to walk in the greatness that is you, you have to set some precedence in your life:

• Commune with God
• Know who you are and embrace the beauty that is you
• Define who you are before someone does it for you
• Believe within yourself that you are valuable
• Have faith that you can accomplish anything you desire
• Learn from your mistakes
• Be reminded of your achievements daily
• Count your blessings morning, noon, and night
• Strive to be excellent at everything you do
• Remove yourself from negativity
• Make your own choices
• Do what you love and participate in what brings you joy
• Create your own sanctuary of peace
• Surround yourself with positive people
• Engage in relationships that add to your life

You must be believable to yourself first before anyone else will take you seriously. Walk in it! When you enter a room, hold your head up, shoulders back, and walk with a purpose. Show your confidence with each step. Regardless of whose path you come across, keep your center and do not waver from who you are. Refuse to give in to the pressure or the notion that you have to be someone you are not. Remember you know who you are; no one needs to tell you.

Hold conversations allowing yourself to voice your opinion, without worry. Speak boldly and confidently knowing that you too have something to say. Your voice matters. Do not allow the judgment of others to become your truth but speak your own truth.

Make firm, concrete decisions. Do not waver in uncertainty but with careful forethought leaving nothing to chance. You decide: your present, your future, your life.

Find fulfillment in every aspect of your life. Live your life, live your creed. Walk in it!

TEACH

Malloy turned off her alarm. It was 5:30 a.m. and she had much to do in a short amount of time. After her daily devotion, she dressed and prepared breakfast for her children. At that moment a flood of thoughts crowded her mind. “Do I have enough copies of that worksheet for every student? What time am I supposed to take my students to the auditorium this morning? When will I find time to call that parent back?”

Back to the task at hand, Malloy gathered her thoughts and awoke her own children to prepare them for school. Her chatty little girl began asking questions one after another as soon as her eyes opened. Her son, who was older, just grunted and lagged behind as the clock ticked.

Before she knew it, time had passed. Walking briskly through the house, Malloy rattled off things she needed to take to the car: “…lunch, laptop, revised lesson plans, textbook, school bag, purse…” Is that it? Mallory had hoped so as she would now just have enough time to drop her daughter off at daycare, her son off at school and get to her own school before the clock in time of 7:45 a.m.

Driving down the freeway, Malloy managed to answer her daughter’s continued barrage of questions, pull information from her son about the due date of his Science Fair Project, while at the same time entertaining more thoughts of the lesson she would teach to her students today. She would be introducing a new skill and wanted to make sure that all of her students grasped the concept.

After hugs and kisses to her children, a promise to take them out for pizza tonight, and a quick trip down the road, Malloy arrived at 7:44 a.m. Inside of her classroom, she had 30 minutes to prepare her room for her first period class. Closing her door and sitting her things down, Malloy started her routine. She sat at her desk and prayed silently for the success of the day. It was her honest intent that each child would learn something each day and that they would leave her classroom not having wasted a second of their time. Malloy valued the education of her students just as much as she did for her own children and held the same set of high expectations.

The day passed quickly as they always did. Malloy worked hard to be excellent at what she felt she was called to do. From the morning tardy bell, to lunch, to standing outside on duty as her students got on the bus, Malloy did not waver though tired as she was. Despite the obstacles, interruptions, and setbacks during the day, Malloy managed to get through much of her lesson and set the precedence for the following day.

Back in her classroom, Malloy sat in her chair, took a deep breath and reflected on her day. She had to admit that she became a bit frustrated as she worked to adapt to the unexpected changes in the school day.

• The announcements were late and interrupted her instruction, but witnessing the joy in the room when students heard their names called out for honor roll made it all worth it.
• While teaching, Malloy learned she was 10 copies short of a worksheet but used the opportunity for students to collaborate instead of work independently.
• The Drug Free Assembly ran longer than expected, but since the community surrounding the school has a known drug problem, it was necessary for the students to attend.
• Despite her efforts to incorporate additional activities, a few of Malloy’s students struggled with the lesson so she would have to go back to the drawing board as it was unacceptable for her to leave any student behind.

As long as she had been teaching, the plans she had worked so hard to create from week to week had always fizzled in some way, forcing her to regroup without so much as a blink. Perhaps that was one of the little known gifts of a teacher. Malloy had learned long ago that the ability to switch gears without missing a step is a characteristic that is as much a necessity as knowing the content which you teach.

All in all, this was one of her better days.  As always, in spite of the challenges, Malloy’s heart was filled as she worked within her true passion of teaching. After attending a lesson planning meeting, reserving the computer lab for a future lesson, checking out a few books from the library, and conferencing with a parent, she returned to her room to prepare for the next day.

Malloy had just under 45 minutes before she needed to pick up her own children. As a result of her late hours at the school, Malloy decided to take them out for pizza to spend some quality, uninterrupted time with them. Together they would plan something special for the weekend. She never wanted her own children to feel neglected.

Soft music filled her classroom as she did the following to prepare for the next day:

1. Placed materials on each desk which students would need the following day
2. Erased her board and wrote the items that would guide the next day’s instruction
3. Reviewed her lesson plans
4. Brought out the manipulatives that she would use to help her struggling students grasp the concept
5. Put together a task sheet for the teacher assistant that would be helping her the next day.
6. Responded to a couple of emails from administration
7. Signed up for a training session recommended by her department chair
8. Posted student work samples in the hallway

Finally, after pilling all of her things in her teacher bag, Malloy stood at the door facing the 30 desks that filled her classroom. She would return again the next day to pour into the lives of her students. She knew it was not only her responsibility, but her sincere calling to help instill hope into their lives. Some students are hopeful for a successful future but not all students believe that they can accomplish anything and many feel that their options are few.

Malloy wiped away a tear that had fallen as she thought of the fragile lives that God had entrusted her with, if only for a school day. At that moment, regardless of the many daily challenges that she may face within the school building, she would not let frustration set in and destroy her passion for the profession. She resigned within herself that she would remain vigilant and continue the course, honoring her promise made long ago, to listen to her heart’s desire which had always been compelled to TEACH.